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April Foolís Day



My faithfull radio alarm woke me this morning for me to hear a mellifluous voice telling me that owing to the marriage of Queen Victoria and Albert certain German Inheritance Laws applied to the Royal Family.

In short, after Prince Charlesís forthcoming marriage to his Camilla, her son Tom had a claim to the throne over Prince William.

Now I am a simple Yorkshire peasant lad, brought up to know my place, respect my betters, and trust the BBC.  

This tends to make me gullible; I joined the army because I believed all that about the Red Hordes waiting to invade us.  

I even thought I was doing a useful job in Military Intelligence.  

Of course in those days I didnít know what an oxymoron was!  (See: Bush, Blair, Iraq).

She who must be obeyed, (henceforward known as Swmbo) is a town lass, of more questioning stuff.  

We hadnít been married for long when Yorkshire Television showed a little feature set in Pontefract showing children in the fields planting Liquorice shoots in Fairy Rings so they could grow with and around the mushrooms to come.

Apparently this is to ensure you get more flavour.

She looked at me in amazement when I couldnít understand how they knew where the mushrooms would grow.

So today, when I went steaming down the stairs to protest about this new injustice, she gave me the same look she did all those years ago, and as then, pointed out the date.

1st April

Once again I had been caught, and Swmbo gave me that look normally reserved for young children, dumb animals, or husbands of long standing.

I laughed it off course; but I really was relieved for Prince William, Grasshopper, I really was.


Posted: April 1, 2005 

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