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Once again its been a while since I have wrote.  I've just been thinking about how stupid I feel because of how my ex is/was.
I'm glad that he gave me alot though-in the short time we were together.  He taught me that I am willing to have trust in a relationship-even though he gave me no reason to trust him.  He helped me appreciate that you dont know when your time with someone is up and the cherish every moment. Both good and bad.  He helped me realize that when you know your time with someone is short to make the best of the time you do have.
I'm not even going to lie. I miss talking to him, even though I have every right to wish every breath he takes, was his last.  Around 7 every night when the phone rings I hope its him.  He cheated and did me wrong but yet somehow deep down I wish we were still together. Usually in relationships I end it for stupid reasons-but this time I stuck it out until it faded away.  
I know he thinks Im mad at him, and I am... but really all I want is to hear his voice again. He used to make me laugh so much. I really aint laughed since my last blog. My life feels so empty. I thought I had finally found someone that I could really be in love with. I guess I was wrong!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted: April 27, 2005 ,   Modified: May 16, 2005

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