BlogBud

You would think -- Oh, She has a college education, has kept books, is excellent in budgeting. She would not spend money she doesn't have.
Well, sorry to say hate to admit - I am a spender without money. Credit Cards.She is a Registered Nurse ! I swore, Swore not to use them after Harold passed. Well, I have bought gas and cigarettes twice - understandable. Yesterday, I sold an item on Amazon.com for $ 100.00 Yippeeee !! So, I think, Well, you cannot make money w/o spending money, right? You can't make or go anywhere w/o taking a risk, right? Maybe so.  Today, Manic as Mistress Mania tore into my being - I thought so many wonderful things! I made $100.00. If I spend some money buying rings which I have had great success with in the past - I can at least, at least DOUBLE my money!  There is no reason I cannot triple my money, right? Right?  It can happen. It is a BIG RISK. One I cannot afford to take at this time.  I am too rich to bankrupt; I am too poor to live on what I make. I am at the point of -- possibly selling my home.or selling some land.  The land is in a sense landlocked. The one buyer I know will pay $9,000 for 2 +acres! That is hiway robbery really. I do not have any brains - nado. ZIP, ZILCH. STUPID STUPID.

MAYBE, I WILL WRITE IN A FEW WEEKS THAT I HAVE SOLD THE RINGS!!!!
AT LEAST MADE MY MONEY BACK!! HOORAY!! PLEASE DEAR GOD HAVE MERCY ON ME. FORGIVE MY SINS AND MY FOOLISH WAYS.  GUIDE ME IN THE RIGHT FINANCIAL PATH, THE MORAL PATH, THE TRUE PATH.

I DO MISS HAROLD.
I HURT A DEAR friend ON LINE -- NEUTZY.  I WROTE THIS CRAZY EMAIL ABOUT THE CIVIL WAR. HONESTLY, I DON'T REMEMBER WRITING IT. IT WAS HORRID. I SOUNDED LIKE I WAS RAPED AND PILLAGED BY THE YANKEES AND HE WAS ONE OF THEM.

WHY, WHY, WHY?? DO I DO, SAY, WRITE THINGS THAT I HAVE NO MEMORY OF?

MIMI.  She is my other 'self' . She comes out in times of stress.
She has been out and about quite a bit lately.

Pray for me.

Love
Starsey

Posted: May 21, 2005