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Misuse of Love

My Thoughts on Long distance relationships and Internet.

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My Thoughts on Long distance relationships and Internet.

About six months ago I was advertising my lonely heart in a net chat room,something I have done now for the past two years as with the MS it is harder to get out and meet people.
 A window popped up with a well written beautiful poem that was requesting to be given a chance and not to be judged like other men.
 Of course taken in by the writing skill of the sender I responded back and a conversation began.
  The young man was very charming with his words and although he was a bit much younger than me like a fool as I have never been a coward about anything I gave him my number of my cell phone.
  We started calling one another quite a bit and a friendship began to grow.
   This person would compliment me and say very nice things and shared his personal life story with me and I was taken in by what I thought was an honest attempt to show me the person...
so I invited him to a concert and a chance to meet me.
 I bought our tickets and waited for the event day to come,it did but he didn't ,the reason was car trouble supposedly on the way here.
  I tried to be understanding and accepted the story and apology.
 For months we talked and I was getting told how much I was to mean to this man,feelings of love ,and how he wanted to be with me and have me as a special part of his life,but every time we were to meet and get together something always happened to make it not so.
Lack of money ,lack of gas or car issues.I let this go on longer than I should have for a woman my age and street wisdom,and sure enough my heart got involved,and when disappointment became a regular result of ever plan I finally got tired and wise a realized that this was never going to happen,and I said good by....did I hurt someone? Probably,and for that I am truly sorry and have much regret,but what about my pain & disappointment not to mention missed opportunities of fun and going out being with or maybe meeting someone else,all because I was waiting and hoping for this long distance person to get it together and prove his intent...will I ever do this again ? ,Hell no!  Life is too short to settle for empty promises and dreams from now on if you can't come fourth and prove & show your intent I move along...cold maybe but so is sleeping alone by the phone waiting for it to ring or looking out the window waiting to see a face show at at your door that never comes!  Sugar baby I'm sorry for everything,but I'm just too old to play these games and at 43 darling I don't have time or the emotions to waste on dreams of make believe ...it has to be real and you have to be here with me from time to time ...or we have nothing at all!

Posted: May 29, 2005 ,   Modified: May 29, 2005



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