My fgriend sent this one too me, my 15 year-old bro hates it but I think it is freakin' hilarious! Now not ALL of them apply but, well, just read and enjoy!
Scarlet
What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas
station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.