hello!! *blinx* umm... yeah... read my blogz.. and stuff.. cause i'm crazy. *pokez* MEOW!!

Senseless (Posted: Jan 6)
It’s cold here. It’s so very cold, and not the kind of cold that a hot drink in front of the fireplace could cure. I’ve forgotten what that feels like; happiness, I mean. I’ve forgotten what it’s like to feel warm and safe. I’ve been here for so very long. Just floating, I’ve just been floating here. It’s so dark. Or maybe it’s very bright and I’ve just gone blind. Maybe my eyes have been gouged out, eaten by some hideous insect or something. I wouldn’t know any different. I feel nothing; physically, that is. I feel no pain, no pleasure; nothing. Do I even have a body? I don’t know. I don’t feel one. I can’t see one. I can’t even hear one, and the silence is so loud, the darkness so thick. It’s heavy, like a pressure on my thoughts, pressing, pressing, trying to squeeze out my sanity. I can’t smell or taste either. I have no presence of body. I have no senses. People always take their senses for granted; especially that of touch. That was the hardest to lose; like being sucked out of your skin so suddenly, you don’t know if you went numb or died. Maybe I’m dead. This must be Hell. It’s not what I expected. It’s so very, very cold. I think I’ll drift here forever never knowing. The unanswered questions are torture; and the memories I’ve held so dear are drifting away. It’s killing me. I have too much time. I think too much about my state of being. What am I? I don’t know. Where am I? I don’t know. How did I get here? I forget.

…Who am I?
…Who am I?
I don’t remember.

I’m tired now, so very tired. Go away; leave me alone. Who are you? Why are you here in my mind? I don’t need your pity! Just go away!

Are you leaving? Wait, come back! I want you to stay! Please don’t go! Come back! Come back. Come back…I need you. I’m so very, very alone. Come back, my last memory. Come back sanity…please don’t go. It seems everything leaves me in the end.

Good-bye sanity…
Good-bye me.