The Christmas Spirit

Ah, Christmas time fast approaches, that festival of gentle birth transformed into an almost bacchanalian orgy of mindless spending in accordance with that well known carol, good yuletide merry businessmen, may a profit you display, for a bad year's trading can be transformed by Christmas day.

This is that time when me and fellow members of the Victor Meldrew School of Philosophy stay away from any town centre or shopping precinct until sanity prevails, although in these days of constant sales those days are getting fewer and further between.

Every year I say to Swmbo, wait until the sales, and save money.

But of course now the sales, as afore said, have become the norm.

They even have pre sale sales, after sales sales, and just plain sales

Oh if only I had the capital, I would open up a business where everything costs at least 25% more than anywhere else it could be bought.

This hopefully discouraging the poor riff raff like myself, and encouraging the more discerning customer who is prepared to pay through the nose to be fawned on, and to display their lack of penury by buying at my establishment.

All my goods would of course be in tasteful but very distinctive and expensive packaging. (Added to the bill of course).

A good carrier bag can say so much about a person, don’t you think,
Grasshopper.

Wouldn’t last long, of course: Sainsbury’s, or Asda or Tesco would soon copy the idea.

Special sections in each shop for the discerning ………?

Ah well, fantasy over.

And that’s my visits up town over with till early February.

Up with the drawbridge, out with the brandy, and let battle commence Grasshopper, let battle commence
 

Posted: November 27, 2005