Cant let satan win!!!
my parents divorced when i was three and my brother two,my mother married again within 6 months to a financially stable man ( not rich,but had a good job),he didnt want us only my mom,he was alawys trying subtle ways to send us off to boarding schools or military ones,but they were always to expensive for his liking,so he was stuck with us and every day he let us know it.when i was 7 he had yelled and screamed at my mother so much she had a nervous break down,she didnt leave the bed for over 2 weeks,during which time we were told it was our fault,the frist time i ran away from home was shortly after that.
my mother was raised a jehovahs witness (cult) and he was an atheist,yet he would take me to the local baptist church and drop me off ( to get me out of his sight for a couple of hours on sundays) i once asked him why he didnt go to church,and he told me" there is no god,i am the only god you will ever have to worry about serving" and that church "was only a place to get rid of you kids on sunday" sad trully sad,for he considers himself so smart.
when i was 9 a man came to our neighborhood an asked my mom if we could go to church ,she said yes,i went to that church until i was 14,i learned about GOD and JESUS and at the age of 12 i accepted the LORD as my personal SAVIOUR, and i had a dream,an angel or the LORD told me that i was to be an evangelist ,and at that time i didnt even know what that was,so i left it alone,for i was but a child of 12. the violence in my home kept getting worse,he used to kick us in the rear so hard it would pick us off the floorand we would land on our knees,he would pinch ours butts so hard he would break the skin and leave bruises,but he was always smart enough to leave the marks where now one would see.it came to the point where i said within myself its either him or me.i ran away 3 different times and that didnt work,so (as much as i hate to admit this) i tried to kill him.i took a club to him and only by the grace of GOD he still lives to this day( that and he cryed out my mothers name,which caused me to stop) he didnt dare press charges against me for he knew my mother would never forgive him( that and he knew what he had done)so they put me in a boys home,because i refused to go back home to live another minute with him( that and knowing if he were given the chance,he would have killed me!)
i spent 2 yrs in this home,and one night one of the house parents asked me if id liked to stay up to go and pick up the other boys from an away basketball game,and of course i said "sure",i was told that i needed to lay in his bed so as to not disturbe the other boys in the cottage,so i did,he came in and laid beside me,he then put his arm around meand i froze! he spooned up to be from behind and tried to reach his arm around to my privates,i kept putting my hand in his way,and trying to turn away from him,but this didnt stop his advances,i laid there for what seemed like forever fighting off his advances,until finally it was time to go get the others,the next day i told the other boys what he did to me and found out from 2 others he had done the same so i went with them and we told his supervisor,they in turn,rather than press charges on him let him resign and leave scott free!! where is he now how many others ?this turned me away from GOD and i turned to the black arts,i strated reading books on withcrafts,doing spells and divination,at this time in my life,the other boys would chase me with a bible in their hands,because i was afraid to touch it,for i knew GOD and i knew what i was doing was wrong!but i didnt care,my family had abandoned me,and HE abandoned me! ( how wrong we can be!)i started drinking and popping pills,smoking weed,whatever it took to not FEEL. eventually i ran away from there 3 times too. the last time, i never went back,i ran away all the way down to houston texas with so called friends,who eventually gave me 10 dollars and dropped me off at the salvation army.i saw so much death and crime during my 3 week stay there,and another man tried to molest me and make me his boy toy,but another stopped him ( thank GOD )i contacted my mother and the state put me in a foster home back in indiana.i spent 2 yrs there,these people were the closest thing to a real family i had ever had they truly loved me and treated me with love and respect,it was because of them i finished high school.they were Christians of and Evangelic church and this is where i saw,and experinced the HOLY SPIRIT for the first time,but really didnt understand it that much.i turned 18,graduated from high school,and went out into the world,but so much had happened to me that i was still filled with emptyness.........
eventually i met a woman who wanted me,although i really never came to love her,she wanted me.i moved in with her,and her parents hated me,and every time i saw them they would say whay are you doing living with my daughter,so we got married....i came home every day with her in tears saying she wanted a child,( pressure placed on her by her parents) so she got off the pill and got pregnant,now i love my son,and i treated him right..but her parents tried controlling our lives in every way,and eventually broke me,i came home one day to find a coloring book from when they had taken my son to mcdonalds and along the bottom it said this book belongs to ....and they put patrick michael SANDERSON well, my last name is WHALEN !!!! i couldnt take it no more and i left.days later we got back together and she got pregnant again,in hopes that another child would keep us together,for a while it did,but the same thing happened again and i left,this time seperated for a month ,got back together and she got pregnant again ! now i have 1 boy and 2 beautiful girls,i never hit them in anger,and when she cheated on me in my bed with another man ,it was my daughter who told me.she hired a high priced lawyer and got custody.as soon as the divorce papers were signed....i never saw my kids again,it has been 10 yrs.....i am glad of one thing though.during the divorce i came back to the LORD and when i had vistation with them i would take them to church.after 3 months of not seeing them i was going crazy contemplating murder and suicide at the same time,so i chose to leave the state and moved to florida
there i met a woman 8yrs older and she acted as though she wanted GOD in her life,but she never really gave all to HIM ,she was a drinker who only got worse,she took pills so much that she couldnt get out of bed with out them,she would flirt with other men and women,until she comitted adultry on me more than once and because i didnt want to start over again i kept taking her back because i was supposedly what she really wanted,but i broke..............
now i am married again,but this time unlike before,i do have a woman of GOD,whom HE sent into my life , i prayed for her and HE answered.we were married last december,she became pregnant in feb. on july the 4th when she was 5 months,her water suddenly broke and our daughter was born too soon,too soon for doctors to save her,she died in our hands,after living 2 hours. THE devil has tried to destroy me at every turn in my life,for he knows what i was told by that angel.i have spent my life reading the bible.i have spent time researching where the bible comes from,i have researched archeologist finds where the word of GOD is concerned,and i have no doubts as to the KING JAMES BIBLE being the written word of GOD !!even thru the hard times,even in the depths of my despair.HIS word has been my comfort.
my race has been one of survival,survival of his attacks,but i have learned,like Paul,to be conent with what i have even when i have had not,hungry or full,it matters not for i will NOT let Satan win,this world can take away all i possess,but it or him cannot take away what i believe,and I will finish this race,continuing to preach the word in season and out ,continuing to help those in need ,doing the work of an Evangelist !!!FOR I am CHRISTS and with HIM i make my stand !!!!
michael whalen my husband!!!
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