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Dearest Lord:

Dearest Lord,

Its me again ,when I am  hurting the most,  it  then   I come to you, saddened, weak and sincere;

I know I need to come not just when I am in pain but also  when I am  happy or joyous and fulfilled,I need to realize you are my true source of strength.

Lord, I have tried so many times to walk on my own,using
my own judgment, using my own wisdom and my own fleshly will to get me where
I think I need to be. Forgive me Lord, Your plans are above my plans and your will is wiser then mine.

 For some reason , Lord, so many things I feel come from my flesh  and then I  feel or  think things are not right and  I try to control what I can but it leaves me with no peace and very  unsettled; I try and try to figure them out  in my own strength and I try to do what I think  maybe should  be done, what I think I should do to to make them right and Lord, I make a mess. Some of them so unchangeable. I long for the peace of your forgiveness, I need the wisdom of your righteousness and the strength  that only  you can give.

I have failed relentlessly and I have hurt from my failures. I have such a hard time letting go of my mistakes. So much that I have inflicted pain upon myself  to make sure I acknowledge that I deserve pain. Lord, this pain I caused myself is no where near the pain you went thru for me, when you took my place at the cross, my place , where i should have been but  that you  released me from.  Its hard for me to accept that. Please help me Lord,to accept it, So that i may  see your  will,help me to know your will and the freedom of your redemption. I pray you show me the desires of your heart, the ones you have planned for me. Please release me from the burdens that are bondage's in my heart  and  fulfill your plan and will for my life, as I walk in the righteousness of your will and draw my strength from you.

Lord, Please help me to forgive the person whom I trusted, the one who weights my heart down,the one who grieves me to the point where I feel vengeance's for the pain. Please Lord, Help me to forgive him, once and for all and Lord please give his family the peace and comfort that you offer that your sweet spirit will overtake them and bring them to a place that I know you desire for them to be. Thank you for the blessings that you have for them and I pray in your will and where they are  is where you would have them to be. Lord, release me from the bondage's of the sin and bless me with the forgiveness that only you can give. Thank you father, in faith, that I can seek your face that I might be worthy again one day to walk in light of
your presence.
 cdh  3/24/08

Posted: March 24, 2008 ,   Modified: July 16, 2008

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