hello!! *blinx* umm... yeah... read my blogz.. and stuff.. cause i'm crazy. *pokez* MEOW!!
Senseless (Posted: Jan 6)
Itís cold here. Itís so very cold, and not the kind of cold that a hot drink in front of the fireplace could cure. Iíve forgotten what that feels like; happiness, I mean. Iíve forgotten what itís like to feel warm and safe. Iíve been here for so very long. Just floating, Iíve just been floating here. Itís so dark. Or maybe itís very bright and Iíve just gone blind. Maybe my eyes have been gouged out, eaten by some hideous insect or something. I wouldnít know any different. I feel nothing; physically, that is. I feel no pain, no pleasure; nothing. Do I even have a body? I donít know. I donít feel one. I canít see one. I canít even hear one, and the silence is so loud, the darkness so thick. Itís heavy, like a pressure on my thoughts, pressing, pressing, trying to squeeze out my sanity. I canít smell or taste either. I have no presence of body. I have no senses. People always take their senses for granted; especially that of touch. That was the hardest to lose; like being sucked out of your skin so suddenly, you donít know if you went numb or died. Maybe Iím dead. This must be Hell. Itís not what I expected. Itís so very, very cold. I think Iíll drift here forever never knowing. The unanswered questions are torture; and the memories Iíve held so dear are drifting away. Itís killing me. I have too much time. I think too much about my state of being. What am I? I donít know. Where am I? I donít know. How did I get here? I forget.
ÖWho am I?
ÖWho am I?
I donít remember.
Iím tired now, so very tired. Go away; leave me alone. Who are you? Why are you here in my mind? I donít need your pity! Just go away!
Are you leaving? Wait, come back! I want you to stay! Please donít go! Come back! Come back. Come backÖI need you. Iím so very, very alone. Come back, my last memory. Come back sanityÖplease donít go. It seems everything leaves me in the end.