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from phae (Posted: Feb 16)
I don't know how to write a story about you without writing as if I
were writing to you in some type of letter or something... So that's what
I'll do and you can take from it what you will.
Rice,
You are beautiful to me in every sense of the word. The poem
that you wrote me yesterday was amazing to me, I guess cause I never knew
that anyone could see me that way. I never thought ANYONE understood.
You're twisted, but in a way that's okay. I remember before you let me
in you told me about Keven and how you were bored with him and how you
always cheat on your boyfriends cause you'd rather hurt them because
they hurt you and I remember you saying "my reasoning only makes sense to
me". You were so confident in saying that it only made sense to you
and in some odd way I understood it. Who better for your reasoning to
make sense to? You are the one that has to deal with your decisions and
choices so as long as it makes sense to you- go for it. When you told
me about the 'episodes' that you used to have, I never understood how
someone could allow the pain that someone else caused them to drive them
to do that, but I experieced it first hand. The night before
Valentines Day I almost died. While I was sitting there crying I thought about
you and the advice that I gave you. You give me hope in a way that you
probably never will understand. You remind me of... me. You see, you
thought that I didn't know you until you came out, you thought that the
only reason we started talking was because you and Davona started
talking, you were wrong. I could care less about your sexual preference.
My initial attraction to you was your voice. I love your voice(even
though you sound somewhat like a man at times!)I listened to you at the
talent show and that's when I knew that I wanted to get to know you, by
the song you sang. I didn't even know that anyone knew that song! I
mean you are a VERY complicated melody, but I like you! You're one of
those people that you meet and you know in an instant that you will
eventually call he/she your FRIEND, not just an aquaintance. You are torn
between your past and your future. You want desperately to move on but you
are clinging to a past that doesn't necessarily let you choose. People
have hurt you, but I believe that it has ultimately made you a stronger
person, you just have to see that. You have to stop being angry and
begin to pick up the pieces. You have to take the chance again. You have
to be willing to let love find you. You have to stop thinking about
what happened before and stop looking for a certain 'type' of person.
You have this image in your head of what you like and what you don't
like. This may be some of what's holding you back. The person that could
give you the world could be right up under your nose, but you would
never know that cause you'r elooking in the wrong direction. I know this
probably isn't what you wanted. I'll think of something later. Love
You